Warrior King

I am back ever so softly. I asked myself how could I get back to serving Sire? Something was missing. I know that I am deeply submissive but I lost a piece of me. My heart still longed for him but the desire to serve was blocked after this long drought of seperation. Five months. I have submitted to Sire for months but I didn't surrender until August 3rd, 2015. I witnessed my warrior spirit shine ever so brightly in the midst of disrespect. I saw so much strength in him that I felt like the softest woman alive that he could protect me and lead me. It was needed him internally. i needed to connect to him in order to surrender him. I am home where I belong with Sire. I wouldn't have thought that surrender would be this complex. It complex when two souls that are meant to be are merging together. It is a spriritual batttle. All I know is that I love the Warrior he is for his hearts,family and friends. ache

Open

Here i am free.
I am on vacation break and now I have time to think. To sit back and feel.

My heart is open wider than it has since I wrote my heart to Sire. We have been through some ups and downs over the past few months.
However, that is apart of life but the beauty of all of it is that he switched on my surrender.

He gave me an assignment explaining my "submission". Since, I am a logical thinker most of the time. I gave him my logical view of my submission. However,  I didn't feel right afterwards. I didn't feel...right.

I have been his submissive for close to a year and I just had to re write my submission from my very heart.

My heart spilled forth so many emotions, and I just felt my spirit spilling over. I couldn't end explaining my submission in a writing. I went to explaining my submission in text messages to daddy.
I am leaking everywhere. Vulnerable. Scared. Needy. Aching.

I kept asking myself what is going to think of me. Oh no, my heart is showing.  My mind wanted to grab a shirt to place it over my heart but my heart whispered, "No. don't cover up. He needs to know."

I was in blissful tears as I opened up. I left my heart open. Its been awhile since, I have tapped into my surrendered state mentally.
I am good at showing my surrender in person while in the sweetest focus ever. I am human, I have flaws, weaknesses but overall there is nothing more precious than being open, fully exposed to Sire.

No matter what, I have to be true to myself. I have the courage to surrender. I have the courage to be open to Sire..
Even when I am shaking in my bones.
He deserves to know me all of me.
I am forever vulnerable and open.

why

Damn.

I know you had a wonderful time during the weekend. We had a discussion about leaving "emotionally". I know you are distant in nature so am I..but...I never shut myself off from you. I went ahead of you, when i was suppose to follow you. Some how you left and when I felt that feeling in your voice. I never been so scared.
I tried so hard to stay logical with you. You don't know but I had to let open my heart. I had to. No matter how much you hate the feeling of emotional clinginess. I am what I am. I am submissive, especially with a man of your nature.
When a Alpha female is in the world with a Alpha male...things change roles change..emotions come, territorial starts to arise. I never met a man who i can feel miles away. Even right now, you are far away emotionally.
Im not holding back with you to make you feel safe...anymore internally.

I love you.


im hurting. even if you are not. Pain is temporary right?

me

Tenets Broken Down.

TENETS

*Desire - It is my desire to serve Sire and to be used for his pleasure. It is through pursuing this desire that I will reach fulfilment.

*Respect- I will show Sire Respect at all times. I will respect myself at all times,  I will respect myself as I am an extension of Sire.

*Obedience- I will obey Sire's rules and instructions. If I have a conflict with a command, I will respectfully request permission to express my grievance.

*Honesty- I am completely open to Sire. It is only through honesty that we will reach unconditional mutual trust.

*Trust- I will grow to trust Sire unconditionally, Sire knows what I want and need. Trust will enable me to surrender myself to Sire completely.

*Surrender- Honesty and Trust will enable me to surrender myself to Sire. By surrendering myself, I will reach transcendent fulfillment.

*Fulfillment- By honoring these TENETS, Sire and I will discover what true fulfillment feels like: mentally, physically, and emotionally.



Patience- I will be patient when it comes to Sire and I will learn patience while surrendering my all to Sire. 

The Struggle

im yearning for you.

You have me at a stand still. You admitted to it.
Where am i to go?
But thinking, learning and needing...you.

Air

i feel you

let me hold you

im alive

feel my heart beating

as i close my eyes

i can feel it beating so fast..

i want every moment with you
to last

i can feel you living underneath my skin

maneuvering my slavish tears..

from internal years..

of held back primal  fears

when you wave your air past me

i suffocate when its gone...

curled up alone

gasping

whispering to the heavens
for
just
one
more
breath

of your...Air.

Tenet 1-Desire

I understand my desires. I embraced them. I wallow in my thoughts. I have this deep desire to be a total, objectified slut. Ive always wanted to be everything to one man.  I want to be his property. I want to be what he desires in his imagination. Because its the woman that appeals to his imagination is who gets him..keeps him...satisfied. Im trying to be everything so another woman can't compare. There aint shit I wouldn't do sexually with him and only him. I am so eager to learn too. I have been internally locked in. Ive never gotten the chance to experience my desires with a man because...I felt that I had to had a long going energy connection. I want to be taught how to ride his dick, I want him to mold me perfectly to suck his dick, I want him to show me all the things that he needs, need to do to survive. I want him to be fulfilled sexually.

I already understand my body for my pleasure purposes, but everyone knows its better when you intertwine with someone who desire and like to give their all to another during intimacy, unadulterated, predator,prey, mother nature bodies colliding..

sThere is always more to the equation but the truth of the matter is---if the Dominant is fullfiling his submissive desires he is fulfilling a part of her desires to connect to him deeply. However, there will be times that his pleasure is not for my pleasure BUT for his pleasure. Although, he still understands my needs, desires. I assume that some submissives would feel that if a Dominant is doing something that is not their hard limit and they don't like it even though its not their hard limit? Then he shouldn't do it. Ummm...no. That is not how it works in some cases. For example: If a whip was not a hard limit of mines and I didn't care for the whip to touch my body. The whip doesn't bring me any pleasure but a discomfort.  And he wanted to whip me for his pleasure, he liked the way bruises looked, he got a fulfillment and it turned him on. Then by all means hurt me. No matter how much I am crying in discomfort its NOT for my pleasure. Its his DESIRE.
However, I actually like knowing that I am pleasing my Dominant that would turn me on in every way..

desire...desire..

I long to serve that is an in depth desire too. I remember one time I went on a date and the gentleman had me to take his coat. I remember smoothing his petticoat and laying it perfectly on the bench. I couldn't believe such joy I got out of just that simple act. I felt alive. However, the gentleman didn't know I was a submissive woman. A submissive woman that will cater to her Dominants desires..